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Chipped Away: The Grief Inside Domestic Violence

With Victoria Clayton

Stories to Solutions

Interview Recorded On: August 14, 2026
Victoria Clayton oversees every clinical service at Laura's House and trains her teams to recognize the domestic violence that leaves no mark. One partner decides what the other wears or holds every bank account so the other has no idea what the family has. Another files motion after motion in family court to drain what little is left. Her image for what that does to a person is whittling away one small piece at a time. Clients arrive feeling worthless and devalued and not good enough. Their independence and their say over their own lives wear down until whoever they were before can feel gone. The people who love them often want them to leave a harmful relationship and push hard out of real love. Each push is one more voice making the decision for them. Her advice for family and friends is to listen, stay neutral and leave the choice in the hands it was taken from.
Interview Recorded on: August 14, 2026
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Victoria Clayton oversees every clinical service at Laura's House and trains her teams to recognize the domestic violence that leaves no mark. One partner decides what the other wears or holds every bank account so the other has no idea what the family has. Another files motion after motion in family court to drain what little is left. Her image for what that does to a person is whittling away one small piece at a time. Clients arrive feeling worthless and devalued and not good enough. Their independence and their say over their own lives wear down until whoever they were before can feel gone. The people who love them often want them to leave a harmful relationship and push hard out of real love. Each push is one more voice making the decision for them. Her advice for family and friends is to listen, stay neutral and leave the choice in the hands it was taken from.
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Links to Solutions
Power & Control: A respected supervisor's only screening question was "has he ever hit you?" Clayton had more to add.
Chipped Away: Beneath the shame her clients carry sits something few connect to domestic violence.
Their Own Choice: "I think you deserve better" comes from love. It can also push someone away.
Meet Our Guest
Victoria Clayton
Victoria Clayton, MA, LMFT, is the Clinical Program Manager at Laura's House. She oversees the agency's clinical services and supervises, trains and supports its team of therapists. She joined Laura's House about six and a half years ago as a pre-licensed therapist. She worked in English and Spanish and gave individual and group therapy to survivors of domestic violence. She earned her license as a marriage and family therapist at the agency and served as lead therapist and as a coordinator. She took on clinical supervision and program management in 2026. Her work includes Breaking the Cycle, the agency's confidential virtual therapy program for people who have caused harm in a relationship and are ready to change. She also presents in the agency's 40-hour domestic violence training. Laura's House was founded in 1994. It is the only state-approved comprehensive domestic violence agency in South Orange County. It offers emergency shelter, transitional housing, counseling, legal advocacy, children's programs and a 24/7 crisis hotline. In 2024 the agency provided more than 15,000 services to survivors and helped 4,725 hotline callers. Laura's House is now expanding its services to family members and siblings of people affected by domestic violence.
Connect with Millie Christie
Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/servingkidshope/
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/dr-patricia-md/
Connect to Victoria Clayton
Org Instagram: @LaurasHouseOC
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoria-clayton-ma-lmft-50b3a0428/